tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780016060251913355.post6943707553680532036..comments2011-06-05T15:42:17.480-07:00Comments on Jon's Jolly English Work: Summer Nights With Licorice PizzaJonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06673220535417177194noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780016060251913355.post-40551432851271690472009-10-16T18:31:15.133-07:002009-10-16T18:31:15.133-07:001. From reading your essay, I see that you really ...1. From reading your essay, I see that you really value your moments even with the records. You value your records not for the music only, but for the relaxation as well. <br />2. I think that your description on your records was really good. You described very well what kind of music you like and what the records have on them.<br />3. I think your strength is your writing style. You made me feel your relaxation in your writing, and how bored you were. I would feel exactly like you if I was there.<br />4. I think you could describe what it feels like to listen to the music and maybe a little more on your summer night. You did a very good job though.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06718079581506099629noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780016060251913355.post-26897781784761602462009-10-15T14:10:24.457-07:002009-10-15T14:10:24.457-07:001. The author raises a question about value. He as...1. The author raises a question about value. He asks if the things that cost more or the things we enjoy most are more valuable. He brings up brandname food vs. generic food and advertisements to raise his point. He values his records and his summer nights.<br />2. I thought that the records were most vividly desribed. There was tons of details about the different records he owned. He also told the whole entire story of how he managed to find his record player and how he got his records. That is why I thought the records were more vividly desrcibed.<br />3. The essay was a great essay with many strengths. The best strength was the details about the records. As I stated above he used details about the records, how he got the records and how much the records mean to him. That was the best strength in the essay.<br />4. The essay was a great essay and I had a hard time finding mistakes. You should move the title into the right spot. There's also no need for your name and your block. Also spell out 9 o'clock.Brandynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08761438779979704886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4780016060251913355.post-51984961557699260272009-10-15T13:10:04.810-07:002009-10-15T13:10:04.810-07:00Jon is saying that value of an item is influenced ...Jon is saying that value of an item is influenced by advertisements and asks questions to the reader to get them thinking about value. He strongly values his collection of vinal records for their financial value. He also values a relaxing summer night for relaxation. He describes the value of the vinal records by giving an example of how to keep the vinal records in good condition to preserve their value. He says "Records are prone to attract dust, so it is necessary to always be cleaning them. " A reason to keep in good condition. It's organization is its overall strength. The paragraphs in perfect alinement.I would suggest adding more detail to the summer night paragraph to show how it is relaxing to you.jasonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04169266207559234627noreply@blogger.com